练完球过后我不知怎么好像不开心，很想一个人，我也不知什么回事。。。我到底怎么了？搞什么鬼啊！
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I already reject the WNBL game wanted to focus on my fiba Asia game,as this is the last game for my FIBA game..becoz 2 yrs once only..
Then after fiba game i hv to concentrate on my spm exam again..5 nov start after fiba game finish only left 1 month for me to prepare game finish on 5 Oct..after exam tot that can relax enjoy my life spend time v loves one..bt today coach tell us there is another game on 21-23 December at Gold Course,Austrialia n ofcoz I wan to go!Ausie!finally there is a chance for me to go to western country,but still have to attend selection..hope that i can get select..
I think we will miss alot of training during spm becoz this Ausie game is after spm..

昨晚从台湾回来，超累的，回到家和爸妈分享在台湾的旅程和比赛的点滴接着帮妈做家务，然后就睡觉，结果睡过头也没去练球。。起身不久突然膝盖很痛，还好爸妈之前买了一些油膏给我，（谢谢爸爸，谢谢妈妈)
吃饱后吃药又继续睡到天亮，因为头痛又感冒。早上去跑跑步，投投球。然后跟爸爸拿车去修，回到家超赶的，因为朋友来载我了，我还没收拾，还没冲凉和剪头发，今晚要出发到槟城了。
离开家之前，我把在台湾买的土产给了婆婆，婆婆紧紧抓住了我的手，问我去哪里然后几时回，看到婆婆伤心的样子，我的泪水差点流出来，当我关上家门时，我望了婆婆一眼，看到婆婆头低低，看着我给他的台湾土产。。很伤心的样子，我真的很难过
从台湾回来，我和婆婆见面的时间也不多，婆婆很久没看到我了，那么快的，我又离开了家，看她舍不得的样子，我觉得很对不起，因为没花太多时间陪她。。可能去了槟城过后都不会回家，因为我得回篮总，准备我的预考和练球。
没时间陪家人了，要等到我比完赛，也可能等到我考完试才能回家了。
当我在台湾时，婆婆每天都买报纸，看看有没有我的新闻，她问哥哥说为什么没有我的照片和新闻。。婆婆每天在家都期待我的新闻和我的回到，每次我出国时婆婆都会不停的问爸爸或哥哥我几时回，有时知道了时间还是会问。

Had a bad day,grandma asthma attacked two or three days ago which i dono until I came bck home on Saturday evening,this is not the first time grandma got asthma attack,I'm more worry now..dad got gout on satuday during my final game at jenjarom n can't walk..he limped all the way n jumped all the way to the car,clinic n even climb stairs too..
Poor daddy n grandma..get well soon!god bless..

A model agent asked me whether I interested to be a model or not..was thinking that I wan to be a stewardess or a model..
I need a opinion..
The model company is Elite modeling company ,which is world class modeling agency..they will sign me as a full time model,bt as I'm studying,the agent will sign me full time n they will let me continue my study..
Stewardess ...I wanted to be a stewardess as well..
Both are my dream job..which one should I choose?both of them will offer good salary I guess..

Today my day is so blue..moody n stress !tired! N about to despair
Before I fall into sleep my phone vibrate n I saw a message from mom..
n I feel better after I saw this message from my parents!thanks mommy n daddy!i love u all..u all brighten my day!还是爸爸妈妈的祝福最好！
"G"o to bed,
"O"ff the light,
"O"ut of tension,
"D"ream come,
"N"ice sleep,
"I"gnore worries,
"G"et up earlier,
"H"ave nice thought
"T"hank the GOD
GOOD NIGHT.. With love mom n dad.

在某个地方听到了一句话，”做你快乐的事给你爱的自己，做个快乐的自己给你爱的自己“ 在想着其实我过得快乐吗？其实我真的不快乐，做的都不是自己要的，做的不是为自己而是为别人。。。 做着自己不开心的事，我没有选着。。我已经很累了，我没有放弃的选择，因为我根本没有选择的权力。。。 挨了一年，我已经很累很累了，加上我膝盖和肩膀的伤带来了很多的困扰，我练球跑不到3分钟我的叫就痛了。。 人家说累了就休息，大家讲得容易，大家拼没有想过时间的问题，对啊，我是可以休息，那我的中选机会越来越少了。 我能怎样？我有选择吗？我真的很累很累了，我的人累了，我的心更累！人累了，可以休息下让自己回复精神……心累了呢？心累了，可以让心休息下恢复精神吗？可我只是想让它沉睡，不要醒过来，那样就不用想那么多事情了……那样就不会那么累了！在MABA，我希望一个人在好辟静的地方，让我一个人好好地静一下，我想，那样会对我好一点！ 经历过了那么多事，受伤同时也懂得了很多.过去的过去了……今天的今天也快过去了……明天的明天将要到来了……有谁会在乎我的想法？在乎的人却不是重要的人，在乎的总是朋友。。。 我不知我还能挨多久，我真的真的很累了！ 心和人累了，我徘徊在坚持和放弃之间 在这个世界上，在人的身体里，基本上什么东西累了，都可以得到调理和休息。只有一样东西累了，是没有办法调整，也没有办法得到休息的：这就是心累。心累是看不见也摸不着的，只能是靠累者的自我感觉。你可以知道它累了，但你不知道它为什么累；你可以知道它为什么累了，却不知道如何把这种累减轻，更不知道如何才能让这种累得到休息。面对这种累，你束手无策、你无可奈何、你无所适从、你无计可施、你坐立不安、你不知所措、你烦躁莫名，你会感到上天没路，入地无门，总之你不能左右你自己，所以古语云：哀大莫过于心死。 　　 　　心是最难以捉摸的东西，也是最难侍候的东西。人常常会为了使自己的心不累，想很多很多的方法去解决：也许你会选择一些让自己身体疲惫的方法，也许你会选择让自己放纵，也许你会选择把自己封闭，也许你会选择逃避------可是，不管用什么方法，都很难使自己的心得到休息，得到调整，得到释放，得到放松。 类别：如果能不累,我宁愿心死亡

I actually care!

每次当我假装当着无所谓，其实我很在乎。
你们根本都不懂我，不了解我，不明白我，因为你们没去知道，没去了解，你们不是我，你们不懂我有多痛，多伤心！你们只会当做没一回事。
你们根本不懂我的痛，你们有想过为什么我会逃避吗？你们有问过我，我要的是什么吗？
就比如说我受伤了，你们只会叫我练球，而且有时还矛盾的说练了痛了就停。。。我才练那么一下子叫就痛了，难道才练那么一下子就要停了吗？好过不要练。。不练又不中选，练了脚就会痛。
有时告诉教练脚痛了，还要看人家的脸色。
为什么有些人会叫我休息，你们却一直要我打这个比赛？你们根本都不懂我脚痛时又多痛苦。现在我的伤好像比比赛更重要，你们在乎的不是我的伤，而是我会不会中选!我的伤没医治好，怎样练好球？怎样中选？
你有时会对我说，其实我的脚是没事，是我一直在告诉我自己说脚有事，领道我觉得好像有事，我有需要这样做吗？
教练有说过，我没像以前在中国比赛那样厉害了，今天比赛也对我说，我的表现像一个天一个地了，她说如果我不能再练了就不能参加比赛了。我很想放弃了，我好辛苦，很累了！
就练那么一点点脚就痛了，我能怎样？跑了过后膝盖就肿了，我要怎样？
走路都会脚软，上下楼梯膝盖都会痛。
我现在唯一能做的就是打ASEAN school..希望我能中选！而18岁，再看我打完ASEAN school我的脚怎样。
而且今年考spm...
虽然我离开家学习独立了，但是我很需要你们的支持与了解，我还是会很想家，我想和你们一起快快乐乐一起吃一起住。。其实我很压力很痛苦，你们给了我压力，我知道你们为我好，不过，我有我的苦衷，我真的不喜欢，我有权利自己做决定！
我真的希望你们可以像别人一样了解我，让我自己做决定，让我好好休息，明白我谅解我。。。

Maba dinner

Enjoyed today dinner!performing ,singing n dancing !Mei Qin ,Sze Qian n Yun wei u girls are awesome today...make fun together!
Buffet dinner..nice?not bad bt not very nice..hahaha..
Today watching ppl drink beer,tempt me badly...can see cannot drink ..how bad ,bt I still enjoy the crazy moment v my pals!u guys are blast!
Feel like gv a "boo to the boys" talking craps,damn immature !from starting until the end was talking about nonsense ..bt I just take it easy n ignore them...becoz I know,that is how boy behave!

Rest in peace

23/5/2012 Was talking about him today with my classmate ,I told them I hv two chow chow..one male one female..n talk about dogs b4 exam..
Then,after I arrive home at 5pm,every fur kids were barking at me..n Jericho was lying on the floor not like b4,every time anyone of us come bck home he will wake up n peep at the stair case..bt not today..first I tot he is sleeping,coz I know he is sick few days b4,lose appetite,bt then I call his name,he never gv me any response n the body is cold,I realize that is carcasses..I shout his name repeatly,I hope he can be alive again,bt no miracle,his body already cold,he won't be re alive..Jesus has the answer..
I wad crying n calling my dad by cell beside him..
I really hope I can see him running around at the hall again,I'm willing to clean ur urine n poo..I don't mind that ,Jericho,I really miss u..
Maybe this is a reply from Jesus..Jesus receive my prayer bt he has the answer for it..
I hope Jesus will take good care of him in heaven..
Rest in peace Jericho!we love you

21st May..dad stung by bees..places that stung were swollen obviously..hope he is ok without injection n consult doctor..hope antibiotic helps!
Days b4 my dog Jericho losing his appetite ,bt he still eating canned food,n ytd he doesn't want to eat anything ,he is sick...hope he will get well soon..Amen

I'm sick of this life

Monday -saturday's life sucks ...
Monday,Wednesday n Friday have to go to Bukit Jalil to do physio n rehab..I'm tired man!
I don like to go thr all alone by lrt,have to walk far to the station n to the ISN building,the main point is nobody accompany me at there..
Sometimes I hv to endure the pain on my knee during my training ..the pain is killing me..
Im not that fit than last time,I have to stay strong..spm is coming ..FIBA,ASEAN school..
I need to change!!

Everyone surrounded me is like making fool of me..what did I do?what mistake I did?gosh..
I'm stress n tired..
Things make me miss my home more,
Things make me feel like giving up..
I'm sick of this life,life goes on..n I'm fading away

最难过，最难受的时候是当你生病了，你身边最亲的人没在你身边，看着你，按时叫你吃药，陪着你，这种感觉真的不好受。就算说在宿舍有朋友的照顾，其实，大家都不当一回事，偶尔，随口问问你有好点了吗。就算有照顾，那些亲切，都不一样。。不喜欢在外面生病啊！好想家！特别是生病很难受的时候，我多么想看到爸妈在我身边

I'm tired:(

I feel exhausted ,time very pack,my life is very busy v my daily life routine..
I'm in pain.I need a vacation bt I got no time!games coming soon,spm coming soon..how many more times I left for both of this?training alr take plenty time..time never wait,time is a life,when it's pass it will never return..I hv to appreciate every thing from now..
Dear Jesus pls bless me.please free me away from injuries n pain..Amen..